By: Kate Velasquez
I find myself in a new stage of life. New city, new house, new last name, and no routine…
Yes, that’s right, with all this change, I have yet to really figure out what my new regular routine is going to look like. Which also means my current quiet time is all over the place.
With big life changes comes the need for routine adjustments because life simply doesn’t look the same as before. Some days I have my quiet time early in the morning uninterrupted; sometimes I can only fit in 5 minutes at night before going to bed. Other days it’s spread over the whole afternoon because of how easily I get distracted by my new role as domestic housewife. I also miss more days than I like to admit.
This has been frustrating to me. Before getting married, I had a really strict schedule as I balanced my job and my family’s schedule. I always knew exactly when my quiet time would be and how much time I would have. Now, I find the old schedule cannot follow me here.
One day, I was talking to my older sister about this frustration and how “shallow” my quiet time was and how unproductive I felt during the day because of my nonexistent routine. As someone who had herself recently moved several times into different situations, she had some good advice for me and my struggle against fighting for my routine and a fulfilling quiet time.
1. Give it Time!
When we are in a new stage of life, whether it be marriage, college, a new home, a new baby, or a new job, I think we tend to be really hard on ourselves to “get it all together” as quickly as possible. We don’t often see mess-ups and failures on social media when others start a new phase of life so we feel we need to adapt just as quickly to that “perfect world” that social media portrays.
To questions like “am I wasting time because of the new distractions around me?” Am I failing in my walk with Jesus as I struggle to find my schedule again?” The answer is no! Change is a big deal! Our minds and bodies take time to adjust to change and we have to give ourselves time to adjust to the newness. God is full of grace for these times. He knows how He made us, and you are not a bad person for learning and struggling with the adjustment.
2. Figure Out What Does or Doesn’t Work
As we walk in this time of newness, explore your options! If you find your old schedule no longer works, don’t be discouraged, simply find another one that does. If you can’t find time in the morning, try the evening. Or break it up; find other ways to ingest the Word as you go about your day even if you can’t sit down the whole time. Don’t settle with something that makes you frustrated. Find something that works and fills you up with Jesus! He wants us to enjoy our time with him!
3. Talk to Other Believers Who Went Through A Similar Experience
When I first got married, I experienced loneliness like I’d never felt before. Because of COVID-19, I was separated from my nearby family and would spend hours on end at home alone while my husband worked. One of the most helpful things I did was go to a few Christian women who had been through a similar change when they got married, and ask them how they dealt with it.
Asking another believer for help is so encouraging and takes some of the guess work out of the equation as they will have the benefit of knowing some things that worked and things that didn’t. Also ask them to pray for you as you try to figure out your new routine.
Never be too proud to ask for help. We are all believers who struggle with something. One of the most beautiful gifts God gave us was each other. Reach out to other trusted Christians to help you.
Change can be hard but change is good when we chose to learn through it. So press on in your search for routine, friend. God doesn’t say we have to have it all figured out all the time. He has more than enough grace to give us in our quiet time struggle as we figure out what we’re doing in a new season.
Our thoughts may be scattered and our attention spans small, but he still has the power to teach us and grow us to make us more effective tools for his kingdom work. Be a willing disciple and open to something new. Don’t get discouraged if it takes a long time. Your quiet time is worth fighting for. Seek to keep learning, to keep growing, and the pieces will fall into place in time.
Kate is kid number 7 of 10 in her family, and her life has never had a dull moment! Growing up in a homeschooling, Christian home in Kentucky, Kate was raised to love God and His Word. She currently works at a local orchard, and fills her time with reading, archery, and piano playing. It is her firm belief that we never stop growing to be more like Jesus as we actively pursue Him.