By: Grace McCready
Valentine’s Day can be a tough time of year for us single girls. As a single twenty-something who has never gotten married, been engaged, or even dated, I understand how you feel if you’re in a similar situation. People tell us to wait on God’s timing and to trust His plan, but we can still feel confused and even angry with Him.
I hope you already know that you’re not alone. I hope you already know that you’re valuable whether you’re single or married. I hope you already know that God’s love is so much better than any man’s love.
But do you know that Satan wants to ruin these years for you? His lies to single girls often seem the loudest. Perhaps because we are in a vulnerable situation—feeling slightly desperate, somewhat angry, and very lonely.
He can only ruin our single years if we let him. While our childhood years may be formative physically and mentally, our single years can be very formative spiritually. We can waste them by constantly thinking about how to find a boyfriend, when we’ll get married, and what married life will be like. Or we can believe these two truths that can significantly impact our single years:
Truth #1: I am not missing out on something good.
One lie that I’ve believed as a single girl is that I’m missing out. I see a cute couple holding hands as they walk down the sidewalk, and I envy. I see a handsome man sitting with his beautiful girlfriend at a restaurant, and I covet. I hear a guy and girl teasing each other playfully on a tv show, and I swoon.
Satan wants us to ask God, “Why don’t I have that? Why isn’t that mine right now? Why don’t I feel like them?” But God doesn’t answer my demands with, “Oh, I’m sorry, Grace. I should’ve given you a boyfriend sooner.” He answers to my demands with the instruction to trust Him because His goodness isn’t dependent on my relationship status. I don’t think there would be any singles left on the earth if God couldn’t use our single years for His glory and our good.
For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord gives grace and glory; He withholds no good thing from those who walk with integrity. (Psalm 84:11 NASB)
Truth #2: I am not the only one who feels like this.
Satan is also eager for us to believe that 1) dating/engaged/married people never feel lonely and 2) other single girls are completely content being single. One of his main desires is to isolate us. Thus, if we fall for his lie that we’re the only one who feels weary and confused about our relationship status, we’ll likely isolate ourselves.
You’re probably not going to find any Bible verses that say there are other women (whether married or unmarried) who are lonely like you. But you will find Bible verses that encourage fellowship. Not only are we commanded to fellowship, but we can grow closer to other Christians and learn that they struggle, too.
Take care, brothers and sisters, that there will not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God. But encourage one another every day, as long as it is still called “today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. (Hebrews 3:12-13 NASB)
Satan wants to waste your single years by claiming that singleness is like living in a dirty pit and that you’re stuck in this pit alone. He wants you to be focused on yourself instead of others and on your future instead of your present. Instead of believing his lies, focus on the truth that you aren’t missing out on something good and that you aren’t the only one who feels like this.
Grace McCready is a senior in college who is studying business administration and communications. She enjoys writing, spending time with her family, and hanging out with friends. Her passion is for young women to live transparently and thrive during their single years. She blogs about the Christian life at Tizzie’s Tidbits of Truth.