Drawing on the Father’s love in the midst of emotional struggle
By: Christi Grimm
I swallowed hard, fighting back tears. I was there for a follow-up appointment, but you would have thought I had been given a death sentence. I couldn’t control the overwhelming sadness and the tears began flowing. On the other side of the room, sat a kind, older woman. She showed me empathy and handed me a tissue.
There was no major reason I should have been experiencing this kind of sadness. Sometimes middle-aged hormones do crazy things – I have officially entered a weird season! It’s like pregnancy without the end result. Depression isn’t something I have typically struggled with, so the last couple of months have thrown me for a loop. I will be abundantly grateful to be on the other side of this valley.
How do you worship when you feel so lost? When the sadness overwhelms? How do you hear from the Lord when the emotion seems to crowd out His Voice? How do you absorb His Word when your mind is so foggy you can’t remember the last sentence you read? How do you raise your arms in praise when you can’t seem to see in vibrant color, but only in drab, muted colors? How do you show God your love for Him when your passion seems to have all but left you? What then?
It is easy to praise, to worship, to raise our arms in thanksgiving, to live in awe, to have passion, to give love, and to listen and obey His Voice when your mind and body are clear. But what to do when you are middle-aged and struggling; you are young and pregnant; you are a confused teenager; or you are grieving a loss? What then?
Give thanks for His creation anyway.
Raise your arms in praise anyway.
Jehovah Jireh (The Lord who will provide) is worthy of my sacrifice.
He is worthy of my sacrifice of worship to Him even when my worship may be accompanied by tears and a cracking voice.
He is worthy of my sacrifice of sitting at His feet and reading His Word, even if it means I have to repeatedly read one verse because I do not have a clear mind at the moment.
He is worthy of my sacrifice of thanksgiving even if His creation doesn’t excite me right now and the colors are muted.
He is worthy of my sacrifice of lifting my arms in praise even if it means I am not lifting them with passionate overflow in my spirit.
But in all of this, if all I can do is “show up” right now, He will even receive that!
He receives our feeble attempts at coming to Him and He provides. He provides relief, perspective, another day, and steadiness. He is Jehovah Jireh: The God who Provides.
God’s Love for me is not based on how much I can do for Him. His Love for me is settled, it is provided – no matter what my hormones may be doing inside of me! I can never be MORE loved by my Savior and I can never be LESS loved by my Savior! This brings me great confidence, immense trust, and enormous faith in the midst of not feeling myself.
I KNOW He will provide for my needs- all of them. He will provide a way through the valley to the other side. He will provide ideas of solving the problem. He will provide the right professionals to help. He will provide any and everything we could ever need, think, or imagine! He is my Provider and He is your Provider! Lean on Him, no matter your current state, for He IS enough!
Christi is a fifth generation Florida girl who loves the sand, the sea, and the sunshine! When she is not busy mothering her 6 children, she enjoys her garden, traveling, experiencing new cultures, and indulging in warm chocolate chip cookies while reading a good book or journaling. Christi is passionate about bringing women alongside her into a life of freedom in Christ, and does so by leading Beauty for Ashes Women’s Retreats.