How the Father Sees Us When No One Else Does
Vanessa Bonilla
This Mother’s Day was a strange one for me. I felt as if I were invisible, moving past people unseen, a ghost. The feelings of being overlooked and under-appreciated led to me look for all the reasons why I don’t deserve love and appreciation. I spent the night crying in my room.
The next day, by no coincidence, I read Mark 6 during my quiet time. Here were two examples of the outcasts and forgotten of society. A demon-possessed man and a woman with continual bleeding. The man lived alone in caves and was tormented by demons, day and night. The woman had to stay away from everyone because of her uncleanness while she relentlessly looked for a solution to her condition.
When I read these two accounts, I connected so deeply to them. Similar to the demon-possessed man I was being tormented by my failures. Tormented by the lies that I don’t deserve anything, least of all love and appreciation. I’ve failed over and over and I played those failures back again like a movie in my mind. Like the woman, I felt unclean by these lies. I felt hopeless because I couldn’t go back and undo what I have or haven’t done. I didn’t know where to go to escape my regrets. This chapter gave me the direction I needed.
My feelings were a result of running to the wrong source. When Jesus came off the boat in Gerasene the demon-possessed man came from the tombs to meet him. When Jesus was in the midst of the great crowd the woman with the issue came up behind him. Where was I? I wasn’t running to find Jesus, I was waiting on man to do what only God is capable of doing. This left room for my sin to speak louder than His mercy. My accuser was convincing me of my unworthiness. Mark 6 showed me the heart of my Master. He turns to those who seek him, and he sees them. He breaks free those in bondage and heals the suffering. My sin, my mistakes, and my failures don’t have to bind me, I am free!
But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. Psalm 10:14a (NIV)
I felt God turn to me the way Jesus did to that man and woman. Seeing them, I felt seen. I realized what I was waiting for, it was Him. He’s the answer to the cry of our hearts.
To the mothers who feel unseen, whose sacrifices seem to go unnoticed. To the broken-hearted mothers and others who live in the regret of past choices. To any mother who secretly struggled to get through this month of joy in the midst of private pain. God sees you!
God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.
Hebrews 6:10 (NIV)
Mom, run to the Father. His words will fill your heart more deeply than any Mother’s Day card can. His gifts are eternal and won’t rot like the treasures of this world. His love is faithful and all else pales in comparison. When we turn our desire and set our sights on God, He responds! We are seen, healed, and restored.
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Vanessa Bonilla lives with her husband, Eli, in Brooklyn, NY where she homeschools their five children. Vanessa is also the Children’s Director at her church, and she loves fire pits, friends, and spending time with her family. |