By Ken Sande
By Nicole Schrader
Have you ever had a conflict with your parents? Coworkers? Employers? Friends? A spouse?
This is a must-read for everyone who is married—no it's a must-read for everyone in any relationship. Why? Because conflict is inevitable in every relationship. Ken Sande effectively communicates the role of our heart desire in creating conflict.
Jesus calls us to be peacemakers and to go and be reconciled before we worship God (Matthew 5:24). Sande proposes conflict is a God-given opportunity.
It’s an opportunity to—
- please and honor God in the midst of conflict
- show Jesus’ work in us by taking responsibility for our contribution in conflict
- serve others by helping them take responsibility for their contribution to the conflict
- demonstrate the forgiveness of God
- encourage a reasonable and biblical resolution of conflict.
The Peacemaker points out the significant role our idols play in the conflict. It follows the progression of unmet desires identified in the biblical letter of James—What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? (James 4:1 NIV)
In the chapter entitled "Progression of an Idol," Sande sheds light on how a desire can become an idol. When we allow a desire to take precedence over the interests of others, demand others to bend to our desire, judge, and then punish others when our desire is not met, we have likely made it an idol.
My husband and I were caught up in a conflict in our church which led us to this book. Reading it, along with the letter by James in the Bible, was instrumental in helping me identify my contribution to the conflict. The Spirit of God used both to bring me to confession, repentance, and forgiveness of an offense. Ken Sande’s direct approach provides practical steps in reasonably and biblically resolving conflict.
I highly recommend The Peacemaker and believe it will be a valuable tool in resolving conflict—past, present, and future.
I’ll close with this introductory quote from the book…
"Peacemakers breathe grace. They draw on the goodness and power of Jesus Christ and then bring His love, mercy, forgiveness, strength, and wisdom to the conflicts of daily life. God delights to breathe His grace through peacemakers—using them to dissipate anger, improve understanding, promote justice, and encourage repentance and reconciliation."
Sande, Ken. The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict. Baker Books, 2007.
About Nicole: Retired homeschool mother who loves to travel, bake bread, read, and spend time with her kids and grandkids.www.nicolelisamaria.com.