How to Find a Godly Mentor
Katie Gutierrez
Recently, I read Titus chapter 2, where Paul gives specific instructions for how both older and younger men and women should live. I’ve read books and listened to sermons about this passage before, but this time I noticed that the command for older women to teach younger women is unique.
In chapter two, Paul commands Titus to, “Teach the older men [...] likewise, teach the older women [...] similarly, encourage the young men.” (Titus 2:2-6, NIV)
Titus is told to teach older men, older women, and young men. But who is told to teach the young women? “Teach the older women [...] Then they can urge the younger women.” (Titus 2:3-4, NIV, emphasis mine)
Older women have a special command to teach younger women. And the implication is that we younger women have a special command to learn from the counsel of older women.
Many of us younger women know we should learn from older women and would love to find a godly “mentor” but how do we find someone willing to disciple us? Here are a few tips from my own experience.
It doesn’t need to be formal.
Formal discipleship relationships are beneficial. However, a weekly coffee meeting complete with homework isn’t required to receive the blessing of learning from older women.
I never was never formally discipled by an older woman. But I have had the immense privilege of learning from incredible, godly women who have led me closer to Jesus!
My Mom taught me about Jesus and modeled what it looks like to be reverent, and to speak with grace (not slander). She was an example of how to love your husband, love your children, be discreet, chaste, a homemaker, good, submissive to your husband, and uphold the word of God. (see Titus 2:3-5)
Since I was a kid, my grandma has taken me shopping and for coffee dates. While enjoying time together, she encourages me in the Lord and talks about the faithfulness of God in her own life, modeling many of the qualities found in Titus.
Aside from my family, many other women have helped me grow in the Lord by simply taking an interest in my life in various ways. A friend’s mom encouraged me when I would hang out at her house; a lady from church invited me to join a Bible study she led; the women in my home group asked what I was learning in school or doing for work and prayed for me. Another woman encouraged me to get involved in ministry at my church and then trained me for the role. These women also shared what the Lord was teaching them.
Discipleship can be organized, but it doesn’t need to be. Informal relationships are powerful ways to learn from godly women.
Receive from the people already in your life.
Often, we wish the Christian influencer we follow on Instagram went to our church so we could ask them to mentor us. I’m thankful for online ministries that have helped me grow in my relationship with Jesus. But online ministries and influencers cannot replace personal relationships with people in our churches. If you’re in a solid, biblical church, you probably already have humble, godly women around you.
The people around us are the women God is asking us to learn from. He wants us to learn how to be godly wives and moms and communicators, from people who can bring us into their homes and know our lives.
Look around you. Do you see a woman loving her husband well, raising her children well, keeping her home well, stewarding her job well, or pouring out her life serving others? Start talking with her and spend time getting to know her. Learn from her!
Read biographies.
Reading biographies of Christian women is another fantastic way to be “mentored” by women whose life is worth emulating. While biographies cannot replace a personal connection with the older women in your life, they are a fantastic supplement. Find women whose testimony has proven faithful and worth learning from.
Some of my favorite biographies of women in church history are Evidence Not Seen by Darlene Deibler Rose (her autobiography), Becoming Elisabeth Elliot by Ellen Vaughn (on the early life of Elisabeth Elliot), A Chance to Die by Elisabeth Elliot (on the life of Amy Charmichel), The Hiding Place and Tramp for the Lord by Corrie ten Boom (her autobiographies of life during the war and after the war).
As I’ve gotten to know the godly women in my life, I’m always drawn to greater depths of awe and wonder at the goodness of Jesus and the glory of the gospel. My challenge to you is, look around you and intentionally start a conversation with one godly woman in your church or community this week. Next, choose one Christian woman’s biography to read this year. Your life and relationship with Jesus will be enriched more than you might expect!
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Katie Gutierrez loves an urban cafe as much as the smell of campfire and pine. She works in communications while studying business and non-fiction writing, and is most happy when leading worship and discipling others. |
